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Awesome Writer or Good Politician? | There are only two possible explanations for me getting a D+ on a test for a novel I never read (nor did I pay attention to my teacher's endless lectures on The Scarlet Letter. Yet somehow, I managed to bullshit my way through the entire fucking test with a 69 D+ to show for my effort). I would have scored a C- but she's a pretentious bitch. Either that, or the total lack of support in the essay portion in the exam. Whatever. I was the only person who didn't get every other sentence marked to hell for bad grammar and usage.
Honestly, who the hell reads two hundred year old novels? I'd rather crack open Dan Brown's Digital Fortress or something that isn't the work of someone who died before my great grandma was born. Old books suck. Look how much trouble the Bible has caused me over these years. I have to listen to uppity 15 year old air-headed cheerleader failures piping up and parroting "You need to find god!" Man, every goddamned time I hear or think about those words it makes me cringe. Imagine the screechiest voice, add a dash of nails on a chalkboard, and a pinch of a thousand parrots fucking. And there you have it. One of the most annoying sounds concievable.
Back to the matter at hand; I have decided that I am definitely good at two useful things. Probably. One of the things I must be awesome/decent/not-too-horrible at is writing. You'd expect at least mediocrity from someone who writes as much as I do. And since I'm not a worthless blogger, you'd be absolutely right in your assumption.
The other thing is bullshitting. I can bullshit my way through tests, I can bullshit my way through people, and I can bullshit my way through posts on my website. I could probably successfully fake a Perform check by bullshitting my way through an entire acting scene if I, y'know, actually tried (that means "rolled a 20" for you geeks out there).
So I've decided to utilize both of my talents! I am now going to turn over a new leaf and begin writing and getting actively involved in politics. This is a completely and utterly new thing.
For the writing, I'll... um... post random bullshit on a crappy website and trick all my friends into reading it. Yeah! Great idea... and for the politics, I should... hmm... ooh! I know! I'll run for Vice Deity! It's like I'm a born-again Omenist.
 Comments (6) |
voodooKobra
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Boy, I wish I had made this realization a year ago. If I had made this assumption back on November 2, 2005... I'd have almost 150 posts on my website by now, and only one piece of hatemail. |
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| Gogogodzilla |
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You tend to plug yourself too. |
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Nightmare2626
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I get it.  |
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Jwguy
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lol Tests are easy, common sense is the only requirement often. |
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rlp
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They're 'classics'. A group of 'learned' people (henceforth known as 'they', 'them', et cetera) decided these are the only books that really matter, and books that many more people actually enjoy reading and would read without prompting along the lines of 'read this or FAIL', such as... hmm... I don't know. Anything by Tom Holt or Terry Pratchett?
That those ones should be burnt first if you're stuck in a library after the apocalypse and need to keep the fire going ten minutes longer.
Don't know how they chose them, though. Probably the age old reasoning 'older is better', as they are all older than us. Personally, most classics are from genres I'd never touch without 'failfailFAIL!' prompting. |
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voodooKobra
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I know what they are, and it doesn't make them any less boring.
The only classic worth reading is "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn", a novel that is still banned in Boston to this day! |
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| Created: October 6, 2006 12:06 am |
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